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08/14/2012

Comments

Walt Heyer

My point was to show the need for as you say "I agree there needs to be caution and deliberate reasonable action on the part of anyone transitioning"

My point exactly
Thanks

Veronica Charlton

I was intrigued by your article and had to read the full report. I found two issues with this paper: 1) The number of subjects for each group was only 24. A very low number for any conclusion to be reached; 2) The paper clearly points out the study does not provide enough to disprove the hypothesis: "It should be emphasized that the present data, being focused on extra hypothalamic structures, do not disapprove previous reports about sex-atypical hypothalamic dimorphism in transsexuals", "Additional studies of the relationship between brain structure and function in transsexual persons and also extending the material to female to male transsexuals are necessary to more precisely interpret the present observations".

While I agree there needs to be caution and deliberate reasonable action on the part of anyone transitioning, this study did not prove anything.

In fact, the study identified areas where the transgender persons had differences between both groups that needed to be more fully explored.

It is good they are still trying to understand the basis of this, but I wish the entire paper would have been acknowledged instead of just the eye catching synopsis.

Walt Heyer

Well, lets get real when we place ourselves above our kids we are being selfish and hurtful as well as narcissistic.
When we changed genders we overtly have said we more important then they are or at least it sure looks that way to them.

As parents we need take responsibility for caring for are kids not turning our back on them. But that is just the way I see it.
The relationship I have with my kids today I would not trade for anything.
Walt

Myra Ellen Hayes

I appreciate your candor, Walt. I have two 13 year old boys and there is a lot of anger over my transitioning, and a lot of embarrassment for them. However, I do not feel I can go back in the closet with regards to my gender identity. My spouse is also very angry and grieved as well. My hope is that one day they will come to understand what I am going through or at least be sympathetic.

I think what some people do not realize when they transition is that for family and friends it is like the person they know has died. It's funny because I am still the same person, only happier and more self-accepting and I dress differently. I want them to be happy but I also want to be happy myself. I am accused of being selfish and hurtful, of not caring for my family, etc., none of which is true. I am just taking care of myself.

Walt Heyer

I will not go into the details but they became so depressed turning to things to numbed the pain, anger and outrage of their feelings.

My regret was to see how two great young lives became so troubled. Now after I came back there lives were also restored for the better. Yes, I enjoyed being Laura very much but my joy was not worth the expense of two great kids, that is for sure.

Myra Ellen Hayes

What did it do to your children?

Walt Heyer

Protecting yourself from regret would require looking into the future at every possible thing that could cause you regret. For me regret came when I saw how my kids were devastated by my gender change. Regret can result not from the surgery but the life consequences of surgery you never could have known would occur.
Keep in mind transgenders are most often depressed about their gender if the outcome does not produce the overall life "expectations" they desire then regret, depression and unhappy life will result. That is regretful after such a major change unfortunately it does happen.

Myra Ellen Hayes

Walt,

I have to be honest, after all your articles I have read I am very surprised to hear your positive response to my inquiry. That begs another question: how could a given person know that SRS is right for them? How can a person protect themselves against the possibility of ending up in a regretful situation? If I may bring up your situation, believing that you did make a mistake with SRS, what do you think would have helped you more than what you did? I personally feel more at home in my own body now that I am making the transition, and I am very much looking forward to SRS. So hopefully in the next few years I will be one of those to whom you would say bravo.

Walt Heyer

Yes, I do think there are people the reassignment surgery will help. I also think there are too many who commit suicide and have psychiatric issues that get the gender surgery and should not have.
I want to be a "caution light" in the push for gender surgery because the risk is high where regret and suicide remain as unresolved troubling issues no one wants to talk about.
I'm pleased for the ones where the surgery has made a positive for them bravo and all the best.

Myra Ellen Hayes

Walt,

I am curious to know if you think transsexual people do in fact exist. If so, do you think there are people for whom SRS (sex reassignment surgery) is appropriate? What sort of proof would be necessary for you to accept the above if you do not now do so?

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