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Walt Heyer

A wide range of university and clinical research found the development of the young mind was hard wired very early in life. Hard wiring is formed after birth with the environment of sounds, color and word commands around them. The early interaction with others will make them feel safe or not and will become important in the development of gender. this will include visual impressions of the parents all this will work in the psychological "hard wiring" of how they see the world and that includes their views of gender rolls.

I found this topic so important I included a major section of the research studies in my book Paper Genders that has all the details of the studies and personal stories of transgenders who found more comfort in restoring their birth gender than they did as a transgender.


Thanks for the response. You obviously had intense harm done to you by your grandmother and I am saddened to hear it, as I speak from a similar position.

I am 35 and transgender (not really sure about specific diagnosis) and have dressed in women's clothing and imagined myself as female for almost all of my life. I have a vague memory of being about 4 and telling my parents I wanted to be called a girl's name and they should treat me like a girl from now on. I think they laughed it off.

Then I have later memories of being put in my sister's skirt as 'punishment' for being naughty. I didn't feel like it was punishment and used to ask for it, so eventually they stopped doing it.

I've never been able to work out if dressing me up as punishment triggered my deep and life-ruining transgender behaviour or not. On the one hand, I suspect lots of kids have similar crossdressing experiences, but don't absorb them into their growing psyches. I feel as if, were the seed not there in the first place, the 'punishment' wouldn't have done me much harm. But I can't be sure.

Perhaps in a different environment, my transgender urges would never have been fostered. I can say that the urges preceded the treatment by my mother. I'd prefer to think she wasn't pivotal in inflicting this upon me. I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt, but then I read of so many transgender people with similar childhood experiences.

Childhood 'cross-dressing abuse' seems to be a very common complaint. Too common to not have any influence.


It is amazing how things can have an impact on lives, but sadly they do.

Walt Heyer

Yes, I do feel my grandmother was the cause for the ongoing transgender behavior within me. If she had only engaged in cross dressing me once I do not feel one time would have set in motion a gender identity dilemma within my young psyche..

She cross dressed me every time I was there alone with her and she even made me a dress. So I would look just like.a girl. The seed of gender confusion was set in motion and she made it grow each time I was alone at her house by dressing in girls clothing. I do not think there was a compulsion lingering within me but it sure was lingering in my grandma. Thank you for your comments and questions.

She no doubt had deep issues she had not resolved with her however. .


Hi, great blog. I am interested - do you believe that your early experience with your grandmother was the cause of your ongoing transgender behavior? Or do you think it is more likely that she indulged a compulsion that was already there? I ask because I had a similar experience at a young age and have often wondered if it was the cause or the symptom.

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